You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand. Read more

yo mommas so fat that whenever she goes sunbathing greenpeace roll her back into the sea Read more

"I thought you were going to marry Eddie? You said it was love at first sight.
"It was “ it was the second and third sights that put me off him.
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A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said "Are they in your house?" He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. "I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!" Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, "I thought you said you had shot them all!" The man answered, "I thought you said there were no police available!" Read more

What saychel!  And in someone so young! – story 2
[My thanks to BMS for the following]
Later that morning, young Benjy goes to school. Today, there’s a new teacher arriving. When class begins, the new teacher decides to make use of her degree in psychology. So she starts her class by saying, "Will everyone who thinks they`re stupid, please stand up!"
After thirty seconds, Benjy gets to his feet. The teacher looks at him and says, "So you think you`re stupid, do you?"
"No teacher," replies Benjy, "I didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself!" Read more

Yo momma's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world! Read more

A friend of mine is into voodoo acupuncture. You don`t have to go. You`ll just be walking down the street and, "Ooooohhhhhh, that`s much better!" Read more

Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.(Indiana Dumb Laws) Read more

In promulgating your esoteric cogitation or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency,and a concatenated consistency.Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.Let your extemporaneous descanting and unpremeditated expatiation have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast.Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy, and vain vapid verbosity.In short: "Be brief and don`t use big words." Read more

Terre Haute: No one may spit on the sidewalk.(Indiana Dumb Laws) Read more