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Home » Airplane Jokes » Page 1

Category Airplane Jokes (18  jokes in  4 pages)
The best funny Airplane Jokes and clean Airplane Jokes.

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Rating: 3.5 from 5 (6 votes)
1  After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which

conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during

the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct

the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form

what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets

before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of

humor!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as

submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance

engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, e


Rating: 3.5 from 5 (4 votes)
2  What They Said . . . And What We Did



According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, and then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.



(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

1) Test flight OK, e


Rating: 3.78 from 5 (9 votes)
3  A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached

a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement

over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain

speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los

Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and

uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY G-D!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought

me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"



Rating: 4.5 from 5 (6 votes)
4  1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken

clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and

remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."



2. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the

event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take

them with you with our compliments."



3. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your

belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among

the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."



4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines

is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the

industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"



5. Overheard on an America


Rating: 3.8 from 5 (5 votes)
5  A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"

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14 March 2010
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