| Rating: 5 from 5 (3 votes) |
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1 A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at
the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes
the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the
bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that
it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender
to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look,
buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell
me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a
refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of
my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go
home."
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (7 votes) |
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2 A woman in the bar says that she wants to have
plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her,
"Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it
without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (4 votes) |
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3 A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone
to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in
this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and
there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
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| Rating: 3.75 from 5 (8 votes) |
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4 A man limps into a bar with a cane and
alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second
here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't
allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a
really cool trick..."
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| Rating: 2.6 from 5 (5 votes) |
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5 The bartender says "Well then, lets
see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators
mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the
head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when
he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
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jokes-db.com
