| Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
|
21 So, they buy some more Guinness and they're
talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new
bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks
"What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk
again."
|
|
|
| Rating: 2.5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
|
22 A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they
proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on
the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the
bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!"
The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."
|
| Rating: 2 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
|
23 The local bar was so sure that its bartender
was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a
glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one
more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried
over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do
it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice
" I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died
down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind
to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to
|
|
|
| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
24 A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound
Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is
feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks
at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog
struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember
eating that!"
|
| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
25 A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As
he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice
shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette
vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the
machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar
and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says
"The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is
out of order"!
|
|
|
jokes-db.com
