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| 41 Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had
a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the
street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to
that bar and get something to drink." The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We
can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to
the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and
started to walk into the bar. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac,
no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my
Seeing-Eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?" The man said,
"Yes, they're using them now. They're very good.&
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 42 Back in the early twenties, organ grinders used to
go into bars with their pet monkeys and entertain the customers for
tips. This particular grinder walks into a bar with his pet monkey and
states
that he can play any tune that they want to hear. With that, he perches
the monkey on the end of the bar, and the monkey is hopping down the
bar, when it plops his ass on top of a drunk's glass. The drunk yells,
"Shay, old man, duh yah know your monkeys got his ass in my beer?"
The organ grinder replies, "No, but go ahead and hum a few bars, and
I'll pick it up from there."
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| 43 Jack and Tom, are having a beer in a saloon when a
cowboy walks in with an Indian's head under his arm. He hands it to the
bartender, and the bartender hands him money. The bartender turns to them
and says, "I hate Indians. Last week they burnt my barn to the ground and
killed my wife and three kids. Anybody brings me the head of an Indian,
I'll give them a thousand bucks." Jack and Tom guzzle their beers and
leave to go hunt Indians. After a while, they finally spot one. Jack
throws a rock, it hits him on the head, the Indian falls off his horse,
and rolls seventy feet down a ravine. The two cowboys make their way down
the ravine and Tom pulls out his knife to claim their trophy. Jack says,
"Tom, take a look at this." Tom says, "Not now, I'm busy." Jack says, "I
really think you should have a look." Tom says, "Asshole,
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| Rating: 2 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 44 A man that was drinking all day goes into a bar. He
demands a beer and is denied. Yet he keeps asking the bartender. Finally
the bartender grabs him and throws him out. Another man is walking by
and the man who was thrown out stops him. He says hey I'll bet you 100
dollars that I'm Jesus Christ. The man walking by laughs at him and says
make it 500 dollars and you got yourself a bet. The man claiming to be
Jesus says come with me into this bar and I'll prove it. So they walk in
and sit down at the bar. Suddenly the bartender comes from the back of
the bar and sees the man he threw out. Angrily the bartender looks
toward the man he just threw out and says Jesus Christ I told you to
stay out of here. The man walking by looks amazed and pays the man his
500 dollars.
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| 45 A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and
sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars
in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to
belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going
to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman.
He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, &
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