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Home » British Jokes » Page 1

Category British Jokes (78 jokes in 16 pages)
The best funny British Jokes and clean British Jokes.

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Rating: 1.92 from 5 (12 votes)

1.92/5 stars.

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1 I knew this eccentric Frenchman who raises carp in the south of France. When the carp are full grown, he catches them, skins them, and makes men`s wallets out of the skins. He is, in fact, a man known for his carp to carp walleting.

Rating: 2.14 from 5 (7 votes)

2.14/5 stars.

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2 Old lady (to street musician) - Do you always play br ear? Street Musician - Yes, lady, `ere or `ereabouts.

Rating: 3.81 from 5 (16 votes)

3.81/5 stars.

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3 An English man, a Scottish man and an Irish man all entered a 26 mile long swimming race. After 12 miles the Scottish man gets tired and drops out. Then after 16 miles the English man gets tired and drops out. After 25 miles the Irish man decides he can`t finish the race, so he turns around and swims back to the start.

Rating: 2.6 from 5 (5 votes)

2.6/5 stars.

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4 Two little East End kids were paddling in the sea at Southend. `Cor,` said one, `look at your feet. They ain`t half dirty.` `Well, we didn`t have no `oliday last year.`

Rating: 3 from 5 (7 votes)

3/5 stars.

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5 This nurse was learning first aid. The sister said, `Nurse, imagine a man`s been brought in after an accident and he`s bleeding badly. What`s the first thing you`d do?` The nurse said. `Faint.`

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