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51
Railway Porter (cheerfully) - Miss the train, sir? Passenger - No, I didn`t like the look of it, so I chased it out of the station.
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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52
One fine afternoon an elderly gentleman tries to get into his local betting office. Much to his surprise, the door is locked. After a few more futile attempts at opening the door a man sticks his head out of a window. It turns out to be the bookmaker himself : - Sorry, but we`re closed today! The elderly gentleman promptly replies: - But there`s a sign on the door saying : Open : 9 - 4, and it`s only half past eleven! to which the bookmaker says: - But those are not the opening hours; they are the odds that we`re open today.
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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53
A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "when I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I`d like to buy it." "Sorry," replied the owner, but I can`t sell you that." "Why not asked the customer?" "Because that`s my husband."
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| Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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54
A man goes into a fish and chip shop and says `Can I have fish and chips twice please?` The shop owner says, `I heard you the first time.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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55
Villager: It was `ere that Catherine of aragon was bitten by a mad dog. Tourist: Tudor? Villager: Yes, chewed `er something `orrible it did.
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