| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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56
Why do they lock petrol station toilets? Are they afraid someone will clean them? There was a man who painted rabbits all over his bald head. Claimed they looked like hares from a distance.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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57
A British colonel was walking down the street in London when he saw a guy with no arms and no legs sitting in the gutter playing a mouth organ. A sign beside the guy read, Victim of Falklands War." "Bloody disgraceful, what," said the colonel, "the way the country treats its veterans!" So saying, he pulled out his wallet, peels off two fifty pound notes and dropped them in the guy`s hat. The guy looked up and says, "Mucho gracias, senor."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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58
My brother was up in court last week. The judge said, `What is this man charged with?` The policeman said, `He opened a shop sir.` The judge said, `And what is wrong with opening a shop?` The policeman said, `Well it wasn`t his shop sir.` Two seagulls were flying over the beach at a seaside resort one boiling hot August Bank Holiday afternoon. Every way they looked, there were so many people there wasn`t a speck of sand to be seen. `Ah,` said one to the other contemptuously, `takes all the skill out of it, doesn`t it?`
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| Rating: 2 from 5 (One vote) |
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59
I went to the seaside for a vacation last year. The landlady said to me, `We charge twenty pounds a night, bed and breakfast- or twelve pounds if you make your own bed.` `Oh, all right,` I said, `I`ll make the bed.` And the landlady gave me a saw, a hammer and some nails
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| Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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60
We were all in a car and it wouldn`t start, so I told everyone to be quiet, and then it started right up! Why?? Cause it goes without saying... "Who was that lady I seen you with last night?" "You mean `I saw.`" "Ok, who was that eyesore I seen you with last night?"
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