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Category British Jokes (78 jokes in 16 pages)
The best funny British Jokes and clean British Jokes.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 66
In the mid-sixties, there was a hippy named Benny in San Francisco. Benny was real hip, but he just couldn`t grow a beard like the rest of the flower child guys in Haight-Ashbury (Hashbury). One day Benny met up with a Gypsy Lady who liked him enough to grant him a wish, so, naturally, Benny wished for a beard. Gypsy Lady granted the wish but warned Benny to ALWAYS wear the beard, never cut it off. Well, the years went by, the flower children aged, the hippoy movement sorta died out, Benny went on to a career as a successful financial adviser. Benny decided the beard no longer fit his image so, ignoring the Gypsy Lady`s warnings, he shaved it off. **POOF** Benny disintegrated into a pile of ashes, the janitor swept him up and deposited him in a jar. Moral of the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
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| | Rating: 2 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 67
Wee Hughie adored and loved his girlfriend, Lorraine, to whom he was engaged to be married. Wedding plans were well underway and he was looking forward to spending the rest of his lfe with Lorraine. However, a beutiful young lady, called Clearly, came to work in his glen and they found that they got on together very well and as time went by, Wee Hughie realised that he was in love with Clearly and that the Love was reciprocated. Being a gentleman he decided that as he had promised to marry Lorraine he would do so and steadily removed himself from his other relationship. One day, he and Lorraine were walking along the banks of the River Tay. As they walked, Lorraine slipped and fell into the river and was swept away and drowned. He stood on the bank for a few minutes feeling very sad before walking away singing happily. And this is what he sang. "I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone"
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 68
A couple of boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush`s jumped the Game Warden! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden... After about a half mile the boy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thigh`s to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up with him... "Lets see yer fishin license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.. "Well, son", said the Game Warden, "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don`t have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don`t have one"...
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| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 69
A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. "thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards. The mans curiosity gets the better of him, and he searches for a hole in the security fence. Its not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye. As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues "fourteen fourteen fourteen!"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 70
A poor little East End kid was taken away to the country for his first holiday and as he got out of the train at his destination he looked around in bewilderment. `Blimeyl What a lot of grass to keep off.`
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