| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 11
Scene: New York City, man is going to jump off the building. Up rushes good Irish cop. Cop yells up to the man "Don`t jump! Think of your father"
Man replies "Haven`t got a father; I`m going to jump."
The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven`t got one; going to jump."
Desperate the cop yells up "Don`t jump! Think of the Blessed Virgin"
Man replies "Who is that?"
Cop yells "Jump, Protestant! You`re blocking traffic!"
| |
|
| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 12
A Jewish couple has a son who is a holy terror. When he gets to be of age, he`s kicked out of every school they put him in. Finally desperate, the father goes to the Rabbi for advice and the Rabbi says put him in the Catholic school. Shocked, the father asks if the Rabbi sure. "Yes" is the reply, so the father takes him to the nuns and leaves.
An hour goes by, then two hours, lunch time and finally at three the son comes in says "Good afternoon Papa, good afternoon Mama," goes to the table and starts on his homework. The father is amazed and finally ask why he stayed in school all day and why he is behaving so well. His son looks up and says "Papa when you left, the Mother Superior told me that they did not allow rowdy boys, then she took me to my room. Papa they mean business! They`ve got a Jew nailed on a Cross in every room!"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (3 votes) |
| |
| 13
A nun at a Catholic school asked her students what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Suzy declares, "I want to be a prostitute."
"What did you say?!" asks the nun, totally shocked.
"I said I want to be a prostitute," Suzy repeats.
"Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said `a Protestant!`"
| |
|
| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 14
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a wee dog that he loved and doted on. After many long years of faithful companionship, the dog finally died, so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a Mass for him?"
Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death. But, unfortunately, I can`t say Mass for the poor creature..."
Muldoon said, "I understand, Father, I do. I guess I`ll go to this new denomination down the road; no tellin` what they believe... Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick: "Why didn`t you tell me your wee dog was Catholic?!"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 15
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot:
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What`s your name?" "Clarence," said the bird.
"That`s a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus."
| |
|
|
jokes-db.com
