| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly across the street from a house of prostitution.
They witnessed a Protestant minister lurking about, then duck into the house.
"Would ye look at that, Darby!" said Pat. "What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place!" They both shook their heads and continued working.
A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one was looking. "Did ya see that, Darby?" Pat asked in shock and disbelief, "Is nothing holy to those Jewish rabbis? I just can`t understand what the world is coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the flesh. T`is a shame, I tell ya!"
Not much later a third man, a Catholic priest, was seen lurking about the house, looking around to see if anyone was watching, then quietly sneaked in. "Oh no, Darby, look!" said Pat, removing his cap and crossing himself, "One of the poor girls musta died...."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 17
A priest and a bus driver both died and went to Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll.
St. Peter turns to the priest and says "This will be yours for eternity. A perfect little cottage, right next to lovely pond, a lush little garden, and a library full of books."
The priest says, "Thank you so much. This I shall enjoy!" St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly gates and motions to the bus driver.
They hop in a stretch limo and go out the front door. There are about 500 acres of land, with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge 200-room castle on one of the mountains, and a wishing well that makes wishes come true. St. Peter says "This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want."
The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says "Well, now, don`t think I`m not grateful, but why am I getting so much more than the priest?"
St. Peter just laughs and says "You brought more souls to Heaven! When the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. When you drove your bus, people prayed!"
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 18
Years ago in Ireland, there was a priest who was very anti-British. Every Sunday he would blast them from the pulpit. He became so notorious that the Pope himself summoned the priest to Rome for an audience.
"Father," said the Pope, "I want that there should be peace between the British and the Irish. You`re not helping matters at all. I want you to kiss my ring and swear by the Blessed Virgin that you`ll never so much as mention the British in public again."
"But Your Holiness, I - I - " the priest stammered.
"No buts," said the Pope. "Swear it here and now or there`ll be trouble!"
"Aye, Holy Father," sighed the father. "All right. I swear it."
The very next Sunday just happened to be Easter, and the priest was back at his pulpit in Ireland, giving his annual Easter sermon.
He got to the part of the Easter story where Jesus said, "And one of you shall betray Me."
The priest continues: "Saint Andrew jumps up and says, `Is it I Lord?` and the Lord says, `Nay, Andy darlin`, it`s not you. Sit down now and dunna worry. Eat your supper.`
Then Saint John the Divine gets up with tears in his eyes and cries, `Is it I Lord?` And the Lord says, `Nay, Johnny me boy, it`s not you. Sit down now and dunna fret yourself. Eat your supper.`
"Then that dirty dog Judas Iscariot slowww-ly rises to his feet. And he looks the Lord right in the eye and says, `Blimey, Mate. Ya think it`s me?"
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| Rating: 2 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 19
A Catholic boy and a Jewish boy were talking and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your rabbi." The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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An elderly man bursts into a priest`s study and says, " I`ve got to tell you this. I`m 90 years old and for the seventy years I`ve been married I never cheated on my wife. Then this sweet thing moved in next door and since then --wow!"
"How long has it been since your last Confession ?" asks the priest.
"I`ve never been to Confession. I`m Jewish"
"Then why are you telling me this?"
"I`m telling everyone!"
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