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| 31 A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come
out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the
phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 32 While proudly showing off his new apartment to
friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big
brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the
talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
| | It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 33 "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the
gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone
screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot!
It's two o'clock in the morning!"
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| Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 34 A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,
plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife,
"Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to
him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me
another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She
yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and
sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob,
and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
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| 35 How about the two old men, one a retired
professor of psychology and the other a retired professor of history.
Their wives had talked them into a two week stay at a hotel in the
Catskills. They were sitting around on the porch of the hotel watching
the sun set. The history professor said to the psychology professor,
"Have you read Marx?" To which the professor of psychology said, "Yes,
I think it's the wicker chairs."
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