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41 How can you tell if you have been spending too much time at home on the Internet?
Your spouse emails you a message saying dinner is ready and she/he uses the address
"Your spouse@home.com."
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42 10) E-Mail flames from some guy named 'Fluffy.'
9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8) You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
7) Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/.
6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it...and a strange aroma of tuna.
5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of 'CyberDog.'
4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2) On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
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43 The Yankees have a monopoly game.
The Mets have a monopoly game.
Microsoft has a monopoly, no game but a lesson for us all.
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44 Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:
· Buff your mouse pad
· Make a list of things to download
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem
· Count to 500 in "click" language
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!)
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter
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45 "My computer isn`t that nervous...it`s just a bit ANSI.
Terminal glare: A look that kills...
Life would be much easier if I had the source code
Computers are only human.
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine. "
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jokes-db.com
