| Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 1 An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you`re an engineer; you`re in the wrong place."So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how`s it going down there in hell?"Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We`ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there`s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."God`s face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You`ve got an engineer? That`s a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I`m keeping him."God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I`ll sue."Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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| Rating: 2.5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 2 At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team`s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 3 Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we`ve decided to give the American the job"Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don`t know.", You put down "Neither do I."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 4 An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 5 Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?""Head up," said the doctor."Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor`s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn`t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?" said the executioner."Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist`s neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn`t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?""Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:"WAIT! I see what the problem is!".
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