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51 A ventriloquist is working in a small rural town and during his show a local stands up and yells, "HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You been making smart-aleck remarks about us small-town folk being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid, ya know!" "Relax" said the ventriloquist, "They're just jokes!" "I'm not talking to you, sir!" The rube replied, "I'm talking to that little fella sitting on your knee!"
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52 An antarctican goes into a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel-off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, "I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home! I WON a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!"
The antarctican replies, "No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!" By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor homes because we didn't have that as a prize!"
Again the antarctican says, "No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!" She hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
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53 Dave and Tom are fishing on a lake. After about an hour when neither of them had a bite, Dave decided to row to the middle part of the lake; where they were very successful TOM: This is a great spot for fishing Dave we'll have to mark this spot so we can come back here tomorrow.
DAVE: I know, we'll put an X on the side of the boat to mark the spot.
TOM: Don't be silly Dave that's no good we might have a different boat tomorrow.
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54 Q: How do you keep an Antartian busy for hours?
A: Give him/her a blank sheet of paper and tell them to write their name on the front.
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55 A man took a bag of light bulbs back to the shop and asked for his money back, the manager asked, “why do you want your money back? The man replied, I planted every one of those light bulbs and not one of them flowered!
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jokes-db.com
