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Category Italian Jokes (51 jokes in 11 pages)
The best funny Italian Jokes and clean Italian Jokes.
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| It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 31
HOW TO IMPRESS AN ITALIAN MAN:
Show up naked,
Bring Beer.
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| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 32
HEAVEN is where:
The police are British
The chefs Italian
The mechanics are German
The lovers are French
and it`s all organised by the Swiss
HELL is where:
The police are German
The chefs are British
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
and it`s all organised by the Italians!!
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 33
An Italian man immigrates to America. He starts sweeping
floors in a pizzeria, and after 15 years works his way up
to owning a small chain of pizzerias. He decides to have
his own house designed and built for him. And it is going
to have everything!
One day he is talking to the contractor and said, "Makea
you sure you puta plenty da halo statues inna da house.
I wanna hava lotsa da halo statues. One inna every room,
even da bathroom." The contractor, realizing his client
must be a very religious person, carefully plans a niche
in every room, and personally searches for the perfect
statue for each niche. Finally, the house is finished.
The Italian man walks through his new home for the first
time. The contractor points out all the features, and
finally the Italian man said, "But wherea are alluh my
halo statues? I wanna lotsa halo statues!" And the
contractor points to the niches and said, "I put a statue
in every room, like you asked."
The Italian replies, "No, no, no! I donna no wanna nonea da
Saintas. I wanna da Halo Statues! You knowa da Halo Statues?
Deya ring anda you picka dem up, anna you say, halo `stat you?"
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| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 34
Giuseppe walks into work, and he says, "Ey, Tony! You know
who`s-a George Washington?"
Tony says, "No, Giuseppe, who`s-a George Washington?"
He says, "Hah! George-a Washington`s the first-a President
of-a United States. I`m-a go to night school, learn all
about-a United States, and become-a U.S.-a citizen."
A couple of days later, Giuseppe walks into work and says.
"Ey, Tony, you know who`s-a Abraham Lincoln?"
Tony says, "No, Giuseppe, who`s-a Abraham Lincoln?"
He says, "Hah! Abraham-a Lincoln is-a sixteenth President
of-a the United States. I`m-a go to night school, learn all
about-a United States, and become-a U.S.-a citizen."
A guy in the back of the shop yells, "Yo, Giuseppe . . .
you know who Fishlips Lorenzo is?"
He says, "No. Who`s-a Fishlips Lorenzo is?"
The guy yells, "That`s the guy who`s bangin` your wife while
you`re in night school."
| | Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 35
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in
to see the vicar: " We want to get married . Here are all
our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can
you do a quick service?"
The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people,
pockets his fee and asks: " Isn`t there a proverb?..
something about not marrying in haste? Why are you two in
such a hurry?
Dragging his bride after him, Giorgio rushes out
into the street: " We double parked!"
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