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Category Japanese Jokes (19 jokes in 4 pages)
The best funny Japanese Jokes and clean Japanese Jokes.
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 1 There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philippines. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard. Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. verri faast!!" Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good!, very faast" The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap`s proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it. "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, also verri good, very fast. Mmmm!"
It was not long after reaching the designated hotel, the cab halted in front of the lobby door, the cab-driver stared at the meter and proclaimed. "That will be US$239.40, sir!"
"Nan desu-ka! What?", the Jap was astonished. "The airport verrinear to hotel.
"Er, sir, this meter is NEC, made in Japan, very good and `very faast`.
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| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 2
Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan`s well-oiled economic machine. It`s only a matter of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.
What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it`s something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.
Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What`s more, two of them are from New York!
The decline has begun.
Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.
But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan.
If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it`s the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 3
The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added," Yes, he`s right. Why don`t you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it."
With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked 6 months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it."
The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn`t dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it."
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| | Rating: 2 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 4
A waitress walks up to the table of three Japanese men at a New York City restaurant. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the 3 men are furiously masturbating!
She asks, "What the hell are you perverts doing?", to which one of the men replied, "We all berry hungry"!
She responds, "But why are you whacking off?" One of the three says, "Because menu say `first come, first served!"
| | Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 5
Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it`s getting worse. Following last week`s news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
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