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| 11
There were three guys traveling in Africa, a Frenchman, a Japanese, and an American. They are captured by a tribe of fierce headhunters. The witch doctor says to them, "We are going to slaughter you, but you might take some comfort in the fact that we don`t believe in waste here, and that therefore every part of your body will go to some use. We will weave baskets out of your hair, we will render your bones for glue, and we will tan your skin and stretch it over wooden frames for canoes. Now we are going to allow you an honorable death, so I will give you each a knife and allow you to say some last words before killing yourselves."
The Japanese guy yells "Banzai!" and commits hari-kari.
The French guy yells "Vive la France!" and slits his throat.
Then the American guy takes the knife, pokes holes all over his body, and yells, "There`s your fucking canoe!"
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| 12
An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there`s any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he`s in luck; there`s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
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| 13
An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The Australian replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Japanese man asked, "Where do I get one?
The Australian then said, "Here take my shoe lace."
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| 14
A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married, she was to please her husband and never upset him.
So the first morning of her honeymoon, when the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love, she stooped down to pick up her husband`s clothes and let out a big fart.
She looked up and said: "Excuse please, front hole so happy back hole whistle."
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| 15
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let`s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said `Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth`"?
Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Fucking Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982." At that point, a student in the back sighed, "I`m gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
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