| It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 151 Can You Spare A Penny?
A man walked to the top of a hill to talk
to God.
The man asked, "God, what`s a million
years to you?"
And God said "A minute."
Then the man asked: "Well, what`s a million
pounds to you?"
And God said: "A penny"
Then the man asked: "God.....can I have
a penny?"
And God said: "Sure.....in a minute."
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 152 Politics
Israel`s economy is in a bad way, inflation
is getting higher and immigrants are flooding in from all over the world.
Problems, problems, problems, but what should they do? So the Knesset holds
a special session to come up with a solution.
After several hours of talk without progress
one member, Yitzhak, stands up and says "Quiet everyone, I`ve got it, I`ve
got the solution to all our problems. We`ll declare war on the United States."
Everyone starts shouting at once. "You`re
nuts! That`s crazy!"
"Hear me out!" says Yitzhak. "We declare
war. We lose. The United States does what she always does when she defeats
a country. She rebuilds everything; our highways, airports, shipping ports,
schools, hospitals, factories, and loans us money, and sends us food aid.
Our problems would be over.
"Sure," says Benny, another minister,
"that`s if we lose. But what if we win?"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 153 The confession
Two five year-olds, one Jewish, the other
Catholic, are playing in a sandpit. Sean says to David, "Our priest knows
more about things than your rabbi!"
To which David replies, "Of course he
does, you tell him everything."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 154 Jewish employment
"My son," says Yetta, "is a physicist."
"My son," says Sadie, "is president of
an insurance company."
"My son," says Becky, "is the head of
a law firm and president of the Law Society."
"My son," says Hannah, "is a rabbi."
"A rabbi? What kind of career is that
for a Jewish boy?"
| | It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 155 All we ever seem to hear is Jewish
jokes so here are two gentile jokes
Patrick goes into the John Lewis Menswear
department and says, "This is a very fine jacket. How much is it?"
The salesman says, "It`s £500."
Patrick says, "OK, I`ll take it."
Sean calls his mother. "Mother, I know
you `re expecting me for dinner tonight, but something important has come
up and I can`t make it."
His mother says, "OK."
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