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201 At the tavern
Abe walks into the local tavern and sees
his friend Moishe sitting at the bar. He puts his hand to his heart and
yells: "Oy vey, Moishe! I`m so sorry to hear about your shop burning down."
Moishe spun around quickly and whispered,
"Shhhh..... it`s tomorrow!!!"
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202 The Jewish mother
The remarkable thing about my mother is
that for twenty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original
meal has never been found.
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203 Mealtime
It was mealtime during a flight on El
Al.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant
asked Moishe, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" Moishe asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
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204 The Israeli archaeologist
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev
Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare
occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe,
the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem.
"I`ve just discovered a 3,000 year old
mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
Abe replied, "Bring him in. We`ll check
it out."
A week later, the amazed Abe called the
archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy`s age and cause of
death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his
hand that said, `10,000 Shekels on Goliath`."
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205 The Israeli worker`s union
Max, a Vaadnik (union head) is addressing
a union meeting at a certain unnamed Israeli government-owned company.
"Comrades - Haverim. We have agreed on
a new deal with the management. We will no longer work five days a week."
"Hooray!", goes the crowd.
"We will finish work at 3 PM, not 4 PM."
"Hooray!", goes the crowd, again.
"We will start work at 9 AM, not 7 AM."
"Hooray!"
"We have a 150% pay rise."
"Hooray!"
"We will only work on Wednesdays."
Silence...then a voice from the back asks,
"Every Wednesday?"
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jokes-db.com
