| Rating: 1.5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 216 The interview
Solly, an orthodox Jew, goes to a job
interview with a gentile employer.
In the course of the interview, which
was going well, the employer asks Solly what kind of salary he is looking
for.
Thinking of his large family and the many
bills that have to be paid, Solly quickly replies that he`d needs around
£50k per annum.
The employer replies that in today`s market
and with Solly`s limited skill set, he is only prepared to pay £40k
per annum.
Upon hearing this, Solly tells him "...listen
even though I am an orthodox Jew and keep kosher, I still have to bring
home the bacon!!"
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 217 The recovery
Irwin Meyers was just coming out of anesthesia
after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife, Kitty, was sitting
at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You`re
beautiful."
Flattered, Kitty continued her vigil while
he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You`re cute."
"What happened to `beautiful`?" Kitty
asked Irwin.
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.
| | Rating: 2 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 218 I can hear you
Maurice Goldblatt was showing off.
He said to his friend Sam, "I bought a hearing aid yesterday. It
cost me £2,000.
Sam said, "That’s expensive, isn’t it?
"
Maurice replied, "Yes, but it is state
of the art."
"What kind is it?" Sam asked.
"A quarter to twelve," said Maurice.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 219 The warning
David, a senior citizen, was driving down
the M25 towards Edgware, when his mobile phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife`s voice urgently
warning him, "David, I just heard on the news that there`s a car going
the wrong way down the M25. So please be careful!"
"Hell," said David, "It`s not just one...there
are dozens of them!"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 220 The obituary
Mandelbaum died and his wife, Sarah,
phoned the Jewish Chronicle to place an obituary.
Sarah said to them, "This is what I want
you to print: ....Bernie is dead."
The JC man said, "But for £25, you
are allowed to print six words."
Sarah answered, "Okay, then print:
.....Bernie is dead. Lexus for sale."
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