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| 261 The complaint
Freda had just finished her fish dinner.
She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter.
"I`ve tasted fresher fish," said Freda.
"Not in here," replied the waiter.
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| 262 The two farmers
Bud, from Texas, is on holiday in Israel
and meets farmer Shlomo there. Bud asks Shlomo what he does.
"I raise a few chickens," says Shlomo.
“I`m also a farmer.”
“So am I. How much land do you have?”
asks Bud.
“Fifty meters in front, and almost a hundred
at the back.”
Now it was the turn of Shlomo to ask a
question.
“You’re from Texas, so what about your
farm?" asks Shlomo.
Bud tells him, "On my farm, I can drive
from morning until sundown and not reach the end of my property."
"That`s too bad," says Shlomo. "I once
had a car like that."
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| 263 Relax a while
Shlomo and Moishe are stranded on an island
in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Shlomo is trying hard to build a fire,
whilst Moishe sits on a rock and stares out to sea.
"Why don’t you come over here and help
me build this fire or they will never find us!" Moishe replies, "Don’t
worry. I gave £10,000 to the JIA last year. Shlomo, believe me, they`ll
find us!"
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| 264 The start of it all
A Rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing
when life begins.
The priest says: "In our religion, life
begins at conception."
The Minister says: "We disagree. We believe
that life begins when the foetus is viable away from the mother`s womb."
The Rabbi responds: "You both are wrong.
In our religion, life begins when the kids graduate college and the dog
dies."
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| 265 The trip
Sarah, a middle aged Jewish woman goes
in search of a famous guru. She takes a plane to India and then a boat
up a river, and then hikes into the mountains with local guides. All in
all it takes Sarah months of hardship to track down this guru. When she
finds him, he is in the middle of some kind of ritual, which will last
for days and the guru`s followers won`t let Sarah see him. Finally the
guru is ready to receive visitors and calls for the woman to be admitted.
Sarah stands before the famous guru. "Harvey," she says. "It`s time to
come home!"
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jokes-db.com
