| It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
| |
|
276 The put-me-down
One day, a chazan was bragging and boasting
about the quality of his voice.
He told his friend, “Do you know that
I even insured my voice for £750,000?”
His friend replied, “So what have you
done with the money?”
|
|
|
| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
277 Look to the future
Rabbi Herzl was visiting Mrs Gold, an
elderly member of his congregation. Rabbi Herzl said, “You know, my dear
Mrs Gold, that you are getting on in years and although I pray to the almighty
that he will grant you many more years in good health, you really should
now be thinking more of the hereafter.”
Mrs Gold replied, “Thank you, Rabbi, but
I am always thinking about the hereafter.”
Rabbi Herzl was rather surprised with
this response.
“Really?” he said.
“Oh yes, Rabbi, every time I go upstairs,
I say to myself, ‘what am I here after?’ and every time I go into my kitchen,
I say to myself, ‘what am I here after?’ I do it all the time now.”
|
| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
278 The Court Hearing
Judge to member of the jury who was about
to be sworn in but who had told the Court that he was deaf in one ear.
“You really can’t serve on the jury”
“Why not?”
“Because you can only hear one side”
|
|
|
| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
279 Advance warning – next year’s
Tax Budget
The Government is going to put a tax on
Tallisim. They are being classed as fringe benefits
|
| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
|
280 We are what we eat
Mrs Herman from London was visiting some
friends in Florida when she saw a little old man rocking merrily away on
his front porch. He had a lovely smile on his face. She just had to go
over to him.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you
look. I would love to know your secret for a long and happy life.”
“I smoke four packets of cigarettes a
day, drink five bottles of scotch whiskey a week, eat lots and lots of
fatty food and I never, I mean never exercise.”
“Why, that’s absolutely amazing. I’ve
never heard anything like this before. How old are you?”
“I’m twenty six” he replied.
|
|
|
jokes-db.com
