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| 291 The daughter
Rifka and Beckie are talking about their
children. Rifka asks Beckie how her daughter is.
Beckie says, "Not too good. My daughter
just divorced her husband. He was a doctor."
Rifka replies "Oh, I am so sorry to hear
that."
Beckie continues, "Yes, it is sad. Her
first husband, whom she divorced three years ago, was a dentist. But she
is OK now, she is dating a handsome lawyer."
Rifka replies, "A dentist, a doctor and
a lawyer. Oy Vey! All this naches (good fortune) from just one daughter!
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| 292 The request
Abe goes to see his boss and says, "we`re
doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow for Pesach and my wife
needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We`re short-handed, Abe," the boss replies.
"I just can`t give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss." says Abe, "I knew I could
count on you!"
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| 293 Mother’s love
Benny is almost 32 years old. All his
friends are now married but Benny just dates and dates. Finally his friend
asks him, "What`s the matter, Benny? Are you looking for the perfect woman?
Are you really that fussy? Surely you can find someone who suits you?"
"No I just can’t," Benny replies. "I meet
many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my
mother doesn`t like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggests, "why don`t
you find a girl who`s just like your mother?"
Many weeks go by and again Benny and his
friend get together.
"So, have you found the perfect girl yet?
One that`s just like your mother?"
Benny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes, I found
one just like mum. Mum loved her right from the start and they have become
good friends."
"So, do I owe you a Mazel Tov? Are you
and this girl engaged yet?"
"I`m afraid not. My father can`t stand
her!"
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| 294 A quicky
Doctor to patient: I have good news and
bad news.
The good news is that you`re not a hypochondriac.
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| 295 How did you do it?
Young David asked his rich grandfather,
Paul, how he had made his money. Paul said, "Well, David, it was 1955,
and I was down to my last five pence. I went to the local market and invested
that five pence in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the
apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten pence."
"The next morning, I invested the ten pence
in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them
at 5pm for twenty pence. I continued this system for a month. Then Grandma’s
father died and left us two million pounds."
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jokes-db.com
