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| 301 The Rabbi and his friends - 3
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister are
discussing what they do with donations to their respective religious organizations.
The minister says that he draws a circle on the floor, throws the money
up in the air, and whatever lands in the circle, he gives to God, and whatever
lands outside the circle, he keeps.
The priest uses a similar method. He draws
the circle, but whatever lands outside the circle, he gives to God, and
whatever lands inside, he keeps.
The rabbi has a slightly different method
of dividing the money. He throws all the money up in the air. Whatever
God wants, he keeps...
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| 302 The Rabbi and his friend - 4
A rabbi and a minister decided to buy
a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister
driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the carwash
because, in his religion, it is customary to welcome a new member with
the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the Rabbi cutting
the end off the tailpipe.
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| 303 Quickies
A classic example of chutzpa is someone
who kills his father and mother, then throws himself on the mercy of the
court because he is an orphan.
Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive
and forget, but she`ll never forget what she forgave."
Q: Why do Jewish women enjoy Chinese food
so much?
A: WonTon spelled backwards is “Not Now”.
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| 304 Moshe’s mother - 1
Moshe’s mother, Hette, once gave him two
sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time Moshe visited his mother, he made
sure he was wearing one of them. As he entered her house, instead of the
expected smile, Hette said, "What`s the matter, Moshe? You didn`t like
the other one?"
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| 305 Moshe’s mother - 2
Moshe calls his mother and asks, "How
are you?"
"Not too good," Hette says. "I`m feeling
very weak."
"Why, mother? "
Hette says, "Because I haven`t eaten in
23 days."
Moshe replies, "That`s terrible, mother.
Why haven`t you eaten in 23 days?"
Hette answers, "because I didn`t want
my mouth should be filled with food if you should call!"
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