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331 A step up the ladder
Maurice, a young Jew comes to North London
and applies for a job as caretaker at the Edgware Synagogue. The synagogue
committee were just about to offer him the job when they discover that
he is illiterate. They decide for many reasons that it would be inappropriate
to have an illiterate caretaker. So Maurice leaves and decides to forge
a career in another business. He chooses to sell plastic goods door to
door. He does well and soon is able to buy a car and later, to open a store,
and then a second. Finally he is ready to open 5 more stores and so applies
to the bank for a loan. But when the bank manager asks him to sign the
contract, it was obvious that he could not write. Shocked to discover that
this successful young man had little education, the bank manager says,
"Just think what you could have been if you had learned to read and write."
"Yes," says Maurice, "I would be caretaker
at Edgware synagogue."
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332 How to get richer
A Hebrew teacher in Chelm declared one
day: "If I was Rothschild I would be richer than Rothschild." "Why?" "Because
I would give Hebrew lessons on the side."
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333 The dowry
Jacob is talking to his friend Morris.
"A terrible thing," says Jacob. "My daughter
Rifka is getting married tomorrow and I promised a dowry of £25,000.
Now, half the dowry is missing."
"So what?" replies Morris. "One usually
pays only half of the promised dowry at the beginning of the wedding."
"I know, but that`s the half which is
missing."
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334 The fire
Moishe is a member of Hendon synagogue.
One day he calls on Rabbi Goldman of Golders Green synagogue to ask him
for help.
"Everything I had and owned, Rabbi, was
lost when my house burned down recently in a raging fire. I`ve nothing
left but the clothes I’m wearing."
"Do you have a letter from your own rabbi
attesting to this fire?" Rabbi Goldman asks.
"Yes, I did have such a letter, but unfortunately,
that was also lost in the fire."
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335 The meal
Moishe goes into a restaurant and orders
potato latke. When they arrive at his table, he does not like the look
of them and changes his order to blintzes. Later, when he had finished,
he gets up to leave.
"Wait a second," said the manager, "You
haven`t paid for your blintzes."
"What are you talking about?" Moishe replies.
"Those blintzes were only an exchange. I gave you the potato latkes for
them."
"Yes, but you didn`t pay for them either."
"Why should I pay for the potato latke?
I didn`t eat them."
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