| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 346 The eye of the beholder
Mrs Stein a rich tourist goes to Paris
to visit the art galleries. She decides to hire the services of a guide
to show her around the Louvre.
"Oh!" said Mrs Stein looking at a painting,
"That`s a Monet isn`t it?"
"No Madame, almost, it`s a Manet." replied
the guide.
"And that one, it`s a Pissaro?"
"Er... no I`m sorry Madame, that`s a Monet."
"Oh, I see. Now that one I’m sure of -
that`s a Picasso isn’t it?"
".... no Madame, that`s a mirror."
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 347 The visit to the Rabbi
Hette goes to see her Rabbi and she is
very, very angry. She tells him she wants to divorce her husband.
"Why, what`s the matter?" he asks.
"I have a strong suspicion that he`s not
the father of our youngest child!"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 348 A little bit over the top
Harry and Alf are bragging with each other
about their recent fishing expeditions.
"Harry says, "I caught a fish so huge,
it must have weighed 50 lbs!"
"That`s nothing," scoffs Alf, "I caught
an antique lamp. It had a date of 1837 engraved on it: the date when Queen
Victoria came to the throne. And you know what? The lamp was still lit!"
Harry stared at his friend incredulously
and then replied, slowly, "Listen Alf, I`ll tell you what, we must stop
this boasting – so how`s this for a compromise? I will say my fish weighed
only 5 lbs and you ... well, you put your light out!"
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 349 A visit to the doctor
Yenta went to see her doctor. "Doctor,
I need your help," she said, " I just can’t help talking to myself."
"Do you suffer any pain?" asked her doctor.
"No."
"In that case," said the doctor, "go home
and don`t worry. Millions of people talk to themselves...It’s nothing to
worry about."
"But doctor," cried Yenta, " you don`t
know what a boring person I am!"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 350 It’s obvious
Moshe and his friends had been arguing
for some days and eventually, in desperation, they all agreed that he should
go to the Rabbi and get his verdict on the question that had them all baffled.
"Which is more important, the sun or the
moon?" Moshe asked the Rabbi.
"Why the moon, of course," replied the
Rabbi after some pondering. "It shines at night, when it is needed. The
sun, however, shines only during the day, when there is no need of it at
all."
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