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| 361 A visit to the Vet
Solly took his King Charles spaniel dog
to the vet. "Doctor Cohen," he said sadly, "I`m afraid I`m going to have
to ask you to cut off my dog`s tail."
Dr Cohen stepped back in shock, "Solly,
why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"Oy vey, my mother-in-law`s arriving tomorrow,
and I don`t want anything to make her think she`s welcome."
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 362 Going to shul
Benjamin woke up one Saturday morning
in a bad mood. When he came down to breakfast, he put on his yarmulke and
sat across the table from his visiting sister, Sarah.
"I`m not going to shul today!" he said
to Sarah emphatically.
"Yes you are." Sarah replied calmly.
"No I`m not . . . I don`t think I really
want to ever go again!" Benjamin said with obvious irritation. "The people
down there don`t like me, they ignore me sometimes . . . they don`t appreciate
me at all . . . and I won`t go back."
"Yes, you will go today, and you will
continue", said Sarah with confidence. And, I`ll give you two reasons.
Number one, you`re 45 years old ... and Number two, you`re the Rabbi!"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 363 The fur coat
David Levy and a beautiful woman walk
into a very posh Hendon furrier.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" David
says.
So the furrier goes into the storeroom
and comes out with an absolutely stunning full-length coat. As the lady
tries it on, the furrier goes over to David and discreetly whispers in
his ear, "Ah, sir, that particular fur coat goes for £20,000."
"No problem! I`ll write you out a cheque."
"Very good, sir," says the furrier. "Today
is Friday, you may come by on Tuesday to pick it up after the cheque has
cleared."
So David and the woman leave.
On Tuesday, David returns to the shop,
on his own. The furrier is outraged to see him.
"How dare you show your face in here?
There wasn`t a single penny in your bank account."
"I just had to come by," grinned David,
"to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life."
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| Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 364 The colour white
Jeffery Rosenberg, a rather innocent young
man, is getting married. On the eve of his wedding night, he goes to his
mother and asks, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies,
"This shows everyone that your bride is pure."
Thoughtful, Jeffery goes to his father
and asks, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
His father looks at Jeffery in surprise
-- "All domestic appliances are white!"
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| 365 Conversation with the Rabbi
Rabbi Bloom asked young Paul what his
favourite bible story was.
"I guess the one about Noah and the ark,
where they floated around on the water for 40 days and 40 nights" replied
Paul.
"That was a good story," said Rabbi Bloom,
"and, with all that water, I bet they had a good time fishing, don`t you
think?"
Paul thought for a moment, then replied,
"I don`t think so...they only had two worms."
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