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| 371 Mathematics
A little something I`d thought you`d like
to know . . .
5759 Year according to Jewish calendar
4696 Year according to Chinese calendar
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1063 Total number of years that Jews went
without Chinese food
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 372 What a coincidence!
Moishe and Bernie are walking down Regents
Street when Moishe suddenly says to Bernie, "Don`t look! Don`t
look! Here comes my wife and my mistress."
Bernie sneaks a peak and says, "What a
coincidence, I was going to say the same thing!"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 373 The last request
Rabbi Cohen was saying his goodbyes to
his congregation after his Sabbath service, as he always does, when Esther
Glickman came up to him in tears.
"What`s bothering you so, dear?" inquired
Rabbi Cohen.
"Oh, Rabbi, I`ve got terrible news," replied
Esther.
"Well what is it, Esther?"
"Well, my husband, passed away last night,
Rabbi."
"Oh, Esther", said the Rabbi, "That`s
terrible. Tell me Esther, did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did Rabbi," replied Esther.
"What did he ask, Esther?"
Esther replied, "He said, `Please, please
Esther, put down the gun...`
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 374 The visitor
A Martian runs into some turbulence over
Earth and makes a rough landing in Golders Green. After he pulls himself
out of his space ship and dusts himself off, he sees that one of his wheels
is broken. Not far away are some shops, so he starts to walk towards them
to see if he can find a replacement.
By good luck, he comes across a store
with a sign showing a wheel, and a bunch of wheels in the window. He enters
the store, gets the attention of Moishe behind the counter, and says, "Excuse
me, I`d like to buy a wheel."
"Wheel?" says Moishe. "We don`t have wheels
here."
"Then what are those things in the window?"
"Oh, those aren`t wheels. They`re bagels."
"Gee, they look just like wheels. What
do you use them for?"
"We eat them," says Moishe and he hands
a bagel to the Martian.
The Martian takes a taste, chews thoughtfully,
and lights up. "Hey," he says, "I bet these would go great with cream cheese
and lox!"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 375 It’s the way I ask ‘em
Two Yeshiva students are discussing whether
it is allowed to smoke while learning Torah. But they cannot reach any
agreement.
So Yankel says to Moishe, "We will go
and ask the Rebbe."
When they find the Rabbi, Yankel asks
him, "Rebbe, is it permitted to smoke while learning Torah?"
The rabbi replies in a severe tone of
voice: "Certainly not!"
Moishe then addresses the Rabbi, "Rebbe,
let me ask you another question. May we learn Torah while we
smoke?"
The Rabbi immediately replies, with a
warm smile, "Yes, of course!"
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