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| 421 The costume
Emma was nearly 10 years old. One day,
she comes home from school and says to her father, "Daddy, I need a national
costume. My teacher told all of the class to come to school next Monday
wearing our national costumes."
"Oy vay!" he cries. "She`s not even ten,
already, and she wants a mink coat!"
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| 422 The test
Just before the class took their O-level
maths exams, their teacher asked them the following problem to test how
well they would do in the real exam: -
"A rich man dies and leaves £240,000,000
in his Will. One-third is to go to his wife; one-fifth is to go to his
son; one-sixth to his chauffeur; one eighth to his secretary; and the rest
to charity. Now, what does each get?"
After a long silence in the classroom, Saul
raised his hand.
"Yes, Saul," said the teacher.
"A good solicitor!" he replied.
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| 423 The check-up
Moishe was 80 years old and his family
decided he needed a full medical check-up. The doctor listened to his heart
and then said, "Uh uh!"
Moishe did not like what he had heard
and asked the doctor what the problem was.
"Well," said the doctor, "I can quite
clearly hear a serious heart murmur. Do you drink?"
"No," replied Moishe.
"Do you smoke?
"No." replied Moishe.
"Well then, do you have a sex life?"
"Well, now that you ask me, yes." said
Moishe.
"Well then, Moishe, that’s the problem,"
said the doctor, "I`m afraid you`ll have to give up half your sex life
if you want your heart to last."
Moishe asked, "Which half should I give
up, the looking or the thinking?"
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| 424 The slip
One day, Jacob, a Russian Jew slipped
on the wet riverbank and fell into the water. Unfortunately, Jacob could
not swim and was in serious danger of drowning. Two Tsarist policemen heard
cries for help and rushed over. But when they saw that it was a Jew, they
laughed and just stood their watching him drown.
"Help, I can`t swim," shouted Jacob.
"Then you will just have to drown," they
replied.
Suddenly Jacob shouts with his last breath:
"Down with the Tsar!"
The policemen immediately rushed into
the river, pulled Jacob out, and arrested him for trouble making.
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| 425 The question
Yankele was watching his father, a Rabbi,
write one of his Shabbos speeches.
"How do you know what to say, Daddy?"
Yankele asked.
"Why, son, God tells me", said the Rabbi.
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things
out?"
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jokes-db.com
