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| 1 The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two
tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear
suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one
in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out,
alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their
way.
After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action.
The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that
again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they
continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action.
The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I
said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but
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| 2 A local United Way office realized that the
organization had never received a donation from the town's most
successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to
persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $700,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the
community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your
research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has
medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind
and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way r
| | Rating: 2 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 3 A pick pocket was up in court for a series of
petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined
$100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord,
however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd
allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 4 Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in
school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is
Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy,"
replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your
Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My
Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No,
just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 5 One day, there was this lawyer who had just
bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues,
when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and
took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!"
he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic
tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by,
and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST
RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a
lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but
what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.
"HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care
about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your
left arm is missing
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