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46 Three men were sitting on a bench in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said "I died of cancer." The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis". The third man said "I died of seenus". The first two men said, "No, you mean sinus." The third man said "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"
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47 A couple attended marriage counseling to resolve communication problems. The fighting and bickering during the session was so bad the counselor called for a timeout and told them he was ending the session early but had an assignment for the husband.
“John,†the marriage counselor said, “you’re an athletic guy… here’s what I want you to do. I want you to jog 10 miles everyday for the next 30 days. At the end of the 30 days call me and let me know how things are going.â€
John agreed.
At the end of the 30 days, John called the marriage counselor very excited. “I did just as you said and I have never felt better in my life!†he exclaimed over the phone.
“Great!†replied the counselor, “ And how’s your wife?â€
John paused and then replied with agitated dismay, “How should I know, I’m 300 miles from home!â€
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48 The "car way" of telling how far the relationship is:
-- Trying to impress the woman: unlocks and opens the door, waits for her to get inside, closes her door behind her
-- Dating: the guy unlocks her door and then goes around to his side to get in
-- Engaged: The man opens his door leans over and unlocks her door and opens it.
-- Married: The man gets in to the driver's seat, unlocks the doors, and says "Aren't you getting in?"
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49 Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.
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50 A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead." The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words." The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale."
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