| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 1 Letter from OsamaHi guys. We`ve all been putting in long hours but we`ve really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says, "There is no `I` in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious.However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can`t foget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns. First of all, while it`s good to be concerned about the cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don`t want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily. I`ve posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.Second, it`s not often I make a video address but when I do, I`m trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we`re taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we`re taping. Thanks.Third: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. Thats all I`m saying.Finally, we`ve heard that there may be American soldiers disguised, trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.Love you guys.Osama
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 2 Osama`s ValentineLittle David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine`s Day. "Since Valentine`s Day is for a Christian saint and we`re Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"David`s father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don`t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," David says."Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock."Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we`re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he`d love everyone a lot. And then he`d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn`t hate anyone anymore."His father`s heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride."David, that`s the most wonderful thing I`ve ever heard.""I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him."
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| 3 Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?A: Nothing, yet.
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 4 Osama in HeavenAfter getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington."How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" says Washington, slapping Osama in the face.Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans` liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama`s knee.Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you...What the hell did you think I said?
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 5 Reports from Afghanistan say that the Marine Special Forces have been seen wearing t-shirts that read:It`s God`s job to forgive Bin Laden.It`s our job to arrange the meeting!---United States Marine Corps---
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