| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night`s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.
A few weeks later, Joe`s former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It`s amazing! I`m cured!"
"That`s great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?"
"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!"
"One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.
"Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist."
"A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?"
"Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 27
A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him.
"For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California."
The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I`m sorry, but I can`t do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they`d have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That`s too much to ask."
"OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I`m a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!"
The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 28
One behaviorist to another after lovemaking:
"Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?
The patients get better and leave.
Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God.
The staff have the keys!
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 30
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains!
Pull yourself together, man!
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