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| 11 Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon
entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to
go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what
did you accomplish during your life?". The man responds
"My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city Taxi driver
for 14 years" "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here
is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the
streets of our Lord." St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks
"What is your name and what did you accomplish?" He
responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62
years to the Lord". "Very well," says St. Peter,
"Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may
enter." &quo
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 12 The head priest at a certain church was out
for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him.
The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says,
"Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a blow job." He says,
"You have sinned."
Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for
certain sins on it, but blow job was not on there, so he went out to
ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a blow job. The
altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 13 "Well OK here's the grand tour." the
Matr'D continued, "Over here we have an all night casino where
you always win. Over there is the hotel where you will be spending
your eternity, furnished with all the luxuries you can possibly
dream of. And in the back there is an all night restaurant filled
with all the most beautiful women you can imagine and are ready to
do your every bidding and of course the food is great also."
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 14 "Now WAIT a minute!" said the guy
completely confused. "Yes?" said the Matr'D. "This is
hell right? This is MY eternity, full of everything I ever wanted? I
thought Hell was supposed to suck ass or something."
"Well...heaven has greater and better things than us down here,
but they are basically the same thing." said the Matr'D. Still
puzzled the guy continues to walk down the road. Then he comes
across this pit of fire and screaming and such other unpleasant
things. At this the guy got a little bit worried and asked,
"WHAT is THAT??" "Oh that." said the Matr'D
nonchalantly, "That is the quote 'fire and brimstone' room. Eh
it's for those Baptists, shit, that's what they wanted..."
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| 15 This guy dies and goes to hell. Once he gets
to the gates there is a Matr'D there waiting to greet him.
"Welcome to Hell" he said in a happy voice. The guy seemed
rather puzzled but went on with his eternity and walked in.
"How was your trip? Not too hard on ya I hope." said the
Matr'D. "It was OK." said the guy still a little puzzled.
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