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| 21 At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at
Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens, and says,
"At last...they're finally together." A man standing next
to him asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean her and her
FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"
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| 22 "No," the priest says politely,
"I mean her LEGS."
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| 23 One Friday, there were 3 nuns riding on a
mountain road. They were coming around a turn when a semi rammed
into them head on killing them instantly. They were coming to the
gates of heaven and noticed a sign that said "Closed for
Remodeling". One nun knocked on the gates and out came St.
Peter. He said, "What are you doing here! No one is supposed to
be here! We are closed for the weekend for remodeling!"
The one nun said, "Well, we're dead and we can't go back."
"Alright," said St. Peter. "What we are going to do
is send you back for the weekend as whoever you wish to be and then
we'll accept you back into Heaven," exclaimed St. Peter as he
looks at the first nun.
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| 24 During a Papal audience, a business man
approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the
Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to
"give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate
10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks
later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million
dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers
100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the
Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news
format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for
charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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| 25 There was this little boy with no arms. He
wanted to ring the church bell on Sundays so he went to talk to the
preacher. The preacher didn't know how he was going to do it, but he
figured he would give him a shot. When they got to the top tower,
the kid runs face first into the bell, no sound. After a few
moments, the kid gets up and begs the preacher for another try. The
preacher tells him to do it, so the kid runs his head into the bell
again, then falls out like the time before. When he gets up he again
asks the preacher for another try. The preacher just nodes his head
so the kid again runs his head into the bell and falls out again. By
this time the bell was swinging away. When the kid stood up, the
bell hit him in the face and knocked him out the window. He fell to
the ground and died. When the police came, they asked the prea
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