| It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
| |
| 41 The Pope is visiting town and all the residents
are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main
street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope. One local man has
put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him.
He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who
doesn't smell very good.
As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the
bum and then walks right by the local man. He can't believe it, then it
hits him. The Pope won't talk to him, he's concerned for the
unfortunate people: the poor and and feeble ones.
Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts
on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another
chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, th
| |
|
| Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 42 A minister was preoccupied with
thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with
more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
Therefore, he talked with the organist to see what kind of
inspirational music she could play after the announcement about the
finances to get the congregation in a giving mood. "Don't worry," she
said. "I'll think of something." During the service, the minister
paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the
roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000
more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." Just at
that moment, the organist started playing, "The Star Spangled Banner."
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 43 Noah went to see God to ask him for
a new and improved 'ark'. "Ok Noah. I think it is time you had a new
ark", God said. "Take a seat, tell me your ideas, and I'll start a
design". "Well, firstly, I'd like it to have plenty of floors. Say, 5
or 6", Noah said. "Ok... 5 or 6 floors" "I'd also like some spaces on
the floors as well, to keep things in."
"Right, spaces." And with this God starts drawing a few designs for
Noah. "Would you like some animals in there to start you off?" God
asked him. "Erm... Fish!" Noah replied. "Fish. Ok. What sort? Any in
particular?"
| |
|
| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 44 "Carp, and plenty of them", Noah said. "Carp. Anything else needed?"
God asked. And they went through various items such as the colour,
doors, windows, etc. Finally, between them both they'd come up with a
design that they both agreed on. Sitting back in his chair admiring the
new 'ark', God asked Noah, "So, what are you going to call it? Have you
thought of anything?" "Well God. I thought I'd call it 'Noah's
Multi-Story Carp Ark'
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 45 One day in Sunday school, the teacher was
talking about Jesus is to the kids, "Bobby, where is Jesus?" asked
the teacher. "Jesus is in heaven." replied Bobby. "Very good!", said
the teacher. The teacher then asked a little girl," Where is Jesus,
Emily?". Emily said innocently, "Jesus is in my heart!". The teacher
beamed at little Emily and said, "How very sweet!!!". The teacher
now asked Timmy, "Timmy, where is Jesus?". "Jesus is in my
bathroom." he said assuredly. "Please elaborate, Timmy.", the
teacher said. Timmy then replied, "Well, every morning my dad gets
up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells. Jesus Christ, are you
still in there!!!"
| |
|
|
jokes-db.com
