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1 With my wife I don`t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to `the best woman a man ever had.` The waiter joined me.
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2
I`m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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3
I tell you, I`m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
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4
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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5
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
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