Airplane Jokes Category

A jet ran into some turbulent weather.
To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts.

"I`d like a soda, said a passenger in the first row.
Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something.

"Yes, I would, he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!

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"I`ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely, won`t you?

"All I can say madam, said the pilot, "is that I`ve never left anyone up there yet!

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Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?

Control tower: What airline is this?

Pilot: What difference does that make?

Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the..

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Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, "Windy, isn`t it?

Second says, "No, its Thursday!

Third one says, "So am I. Lest go get a beer.

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A man went to the airline counter.
The ticket agent asked:

"Sir, do you have reservations?"

He replied, "Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I'm flying anyway."

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Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter? asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush.

The clerk replied, "It`s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.

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In 1940 two men were flying from New York to Los Angeles on what was then a new DC-3. The left New York and when they landed in Philadelphia, a red truck drove up to put fuel into the wing.

A little while later, they landed in Pittsburgh and, again, a red truck pulled up to fill the tanks with fuel.

Each time they landed to discharge or take on passengers, a red truck would pull up and add fuel to the tanks. Finally, after landing in Kansas City and seeing truck pull up again, one said to the other, "we sure are making good time."

Said the other, "yes, we are, and so is that red truck!" Read more

Q: How did ancient egyptians travel ?

A: By pharoah plane.

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