Catholic Jokes Category

Two men considering a religious vocation were having a conversation. "What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? " the one asked. The second replied, "Well, they were both founded by Spaniards -- St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignati... Read more

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mer... Read more

A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they ... Read more

Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. They decided to ask their superior for permission. The first asked but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking ... Read more

A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar. The... Read more

A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Trappist were marooned on a desert island. They found a magic lamp, and after some discussion decided to rub it. Lo and behold, a genie appeared and offered them three wishes. They decided it was only fair that they could ea... Read more

A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring sermon in church. Suddenly his eye the red sanctu... Read more

Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone." The c... Read more

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers. Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don`t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?" `Tis odd, isn`t it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up... Read more

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?" The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I`m sorry, but I don`t think I`m supposed to do that." But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can`t really say no to the Pope." So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over. The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down... Read more