Chicken Jokes Category

Three-legged chickenJuan was driving down a country lane in his pickup when suddenly a chicken darted into the road in front of him. He slammed on his brakes, but realized that the chicken wasspeeding off down the road at about 30 miles an hour. Intrigued, he tried to follow the bird with his truck, but he couldn`t catch up to the accelerating chicken. Seeing itturn into a small farm, Juan followed it. To his astonis... Read more

A waiter approached the man studying the menu carefully at the fancy restaurant. "May I take your order, sir?" he asked."Well, I was wondering how you pre... Read more

Why did the chicken cross the road?T... Read more

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, `Buk Buk BUK.` The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,` Buk Buk BuKKOOK!` The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.The two chickens return to the library in... Read more

Egg HumorQuestion: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?Answer: Neither, roosters don`t lay eggs.Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?Answer: Because the rooster egged her on.Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?Answer: It`s not all it`s "cracked" up to be!Question: Why can`t you tease egg whites?Answer: They can`t take a yolk.Knock, Knock!Who`s there?Omelette.Omelette who?Omelette smarter than I look!Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?Answer: An eggs-plorer!Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?Answer: New Yolk City!Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?Answer: It cracks up!Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?Answer: Deviled eggs!Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?Answer: Because it would break if she dr... Read more

Why did the chicken cross the road?GEORGE W. BUSH: We don`t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.MOHAMMED ALDOURI: (Iraq ambassador) The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don`t even have a chicken.SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.RALPH NADER: The chicken`s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don`t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I`ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I`ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I`m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer`s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn`t it obvious? Can`t you people see the plain truth in f... Read more

Lena once had two chickens. One of them got terribly sick. So she ... Read more

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a co... Read more

Dead Chicken GunIt seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane`s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.The theory is that if the windshield doesn`t crack from the carcass impact, it`ll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on ... Read more

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?

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