Children Jokes Category

An AtheistA young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different."Because I`m not an atheist."... Read more

School DazeIt was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.The florist`s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That`s right" the boy said, "but how did you know?""Oh, just a wild guess," she said.The next pupil was the candy shop owner`s daughter.The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.""That`s right, but how did you know?" asked the girl."Oh, just a wild guess," said ... Read more

A Child`s View of MarriageWhen my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. So, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual ima... Read more

Where is God?A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.They boys` mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".They b... Read more

Child`s Perspective on RetirementA teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people."They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don`t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.They play games and do exercises there, but they don`t do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I gu... Read more

Christmas PresentIt was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.So he wa... Read more

Things Not To Say During Childbirth....-- Gosh, you`re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?-- ... Read more

Pizza CouponDispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he c... Read more

Do You Pray Before Eating?The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say... Read more

There`s TeacherThe children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture."Just think how nice it will be to loo... Read more