Children Jokes Category

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy`s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy`s position.He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child`s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child`s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"To which the boy replies, "Now we run! Read more

Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn`t eaten anything for days. Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn`t work. A little pleading, tono avail.Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said, "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You`re not going anywhere until you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave."Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said "OK. I`ll eat but I have some conditions. First, I`ll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you`ll share with me."Dr. Gill was OK with this. He asked the child what he`d like. "Worms!" said Josh.Dr. Gill was horrified but didn`t want to back out and seem like a loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two pieces and then Dr. Gill eat half. Dr. Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely managing to keep his cool, said, "OK, now eat!"Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way! You ate my half!" Read more

Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I`ll thank your mother for this lovely pie.""If you don`t mind, ma`am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you thank her for two pies?" Read more

A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class.The little girl was quite indignant. "No, daddy, I don`t like him!" she stated. "He`s only interested in one thing." Shocked, the daddy cautiously asked what that one thing might be."Power Rangers, of course," said the toddler. Read more

Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights a bit long and the protective shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye.Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, "Man, I look like a clown."I had almost convinced myself that I was overreacting until I got in line at the grocery store. I felt a tug and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me. He asked, "Are you giving out balloons?" Read more

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I`ll grant them."Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly."I`ll need more power for this!" she exclaimed. Read more

Connie told her 4-year-old grandson, Dean, not to jump on the beds. After several warnings she punished him, explaining that should he fall, he would hurt himself badly.Several minutes passed and he was back to jumping on the beds.Connie said, "Dean, you weren`t jumping on the beds again, were you?"He stood with his little head dropped low and said, "I`m trying, but it`s so hard to quit." Read more

When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers."Oh, you`re 4," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger." Read more

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I`m running away from home!"The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?," he said."Then I`ll come home and eat!," bravely declared the child."And what if you run out of money?""I will come home and get some!," readily replied the child.The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?""Then I`ll come home and let mommy wash them," was the reply.The man shook his head and exclaimed, "This kid is not running away from home; he`s going off to college." Read more

Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:"Nana?""Yes?""There are 38." Read more