Chinese Jokes Category

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there`s something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I`ve read about it." He says that it`s not a problem, and they a... Read more

An old mouse chanced to see a cat wearing a few beads round her neck. "Ah," said the mouse with joy, "that cat has turned vegetarian." Thereupon, he brought his offspring along to pay a call on the cat to express their gratitude. No sooner had they appeare... Read more

A Chinese lady married a pilot and they had a baby. One day he had to fly to another state with a couple of other pilots. His wife was going to China so he had to take the baby with him. On the plane the baby was getting really annoying. The pilot said, "We have to jump or we will have no chance to make it." They decided to l... Read more

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening.

Once in the room they undressed, climbed into bed, and went at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and commenced a repeat performance. The hooker was impressed with the gusto of the second encounter.

Wh... Read more

How do Chinese parents name their kids? The parents take a couple of dishes with them and head ... Read more

ConFuSciouS SayS: "man who run in front of car get tired" "man who run behind car get exhausted" "man with one hand in pocket not neccessarily jingling change" "To prevent hangover stay drunk!" "Passionate kiss like spider`s web - soon lead to undoing of fly." "Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!" "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ." "Man who walk thru airport turnstyle sideways going to BANGkok." "Man with one chopstick go hungry." "Penis put in vacuum cleaner get sucked off." "Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth." "Man trapped in whore house get jerked around." "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails." "Man with tool in woman`s mouth, not necessarily a dentist." "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money." "Man with hand in pocket is having a ball." "Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!" "Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it." "Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock." "Man who pull out too fast leave rubber." "A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts." "Woman who ... Read more

LEARN TO SPEAK CHINESE... Ai Bang Mai Ne I bumped into the coffee table Ar U Wun Tu A gay liberation greeting Chin Tu Fat You need a face lift Dum Gai A stupid person Gun Pao Der An ancient Chinese invention Hu Flung Dung Which one of you fertilized the field? Hu Yu Hai Ding We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive Jan Ne Ka Sun A former late night talk show host Kum Hia Approach me Lao Ze Sho Gilligan`s Island Lao Zi Not very good Lin Ching An illegal execution Moon Lan Ding Achieve... Read more

A rich man often went to Bangkok for the night life and before long he contracted sexual disease. So one day, he went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor examine his private part and said, "This is a very severe case. We have no other way but to cut it away. otherwise, it will spread and become worse." The businessman was shocked. the last thing he wanted was to have it cut and end his night life. He went to other doctors but all gave th... Read more

A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, "Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it`s being born." The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this. "Why don`t you know what color the child is going to be?" "Well", says the woman, "The problem is that I`m a porno actress and the child was conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is." "OK", says the doctor, "I`ll do it for you but it is most unusual." The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, "Here comes the head, it seems to ... Read more

84 Ways to Know If You`re Chinese 1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. 2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. 3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. 4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. 5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. 6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it. 7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. 8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. 9. You have never used your dishwasher. 10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. 11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator. 12. You eat all meals in the kitchen. 13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. 14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. 15. You always leave your shoes at the door. 16. You have a piano in your living room. 17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles. 18. You iron your own shirts. 19. You play a musical instrument. 20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth). 21. You twirl your pen around your fingers. 22. You hate to waste food a. Even if you`re totally full, if someone says they`re going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you`ll finish them. b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. 23. You don`t own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. 24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. 25. You`ve eaten a red bean popsicle. 26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people`s homes. 27. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. 28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald`s. 29. Ditto paper napkins. 30. You never order room service. 31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)...These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID). 32. You own a rice cooker. 33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it. 34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That`s why you need the vinyl tablecloth). 35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous. 36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill 37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. 38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law. 39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance f... Read more