Chinese Jokes Category

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the heck have you been all night?" she demands."At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It`s got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works “ heck, even the urinal`s gold!" The wife still doesn`t believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband`s story."Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," bartender answers. "Do you have huge golden doors?" "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?" There`s a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!" Read more

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs, and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign "Hans Olaffsen`s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like `Hans Olaffsen`s Laundry?`" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, `What your name?` He say,`Hans Olaffsen.` Then she look at me and go, `What your name?`" "I say Sem Ting." Read more

I went into a Chinese restaurant and said to the waiter "Do you do take away?" He said, "Yes, 6 from 10 leaves 4." Read more

What`s the difference between a dead dog in the street and a dead Chinaman in the street? The dog has skid marks leading up to it. Read more

Whats a chinese idea of a blindfold. Tooth floss!!! What do you call a fat Chink? Chunk Read more

One day a chinese man came to a restaurant and heard a guy say `me me me` `me me me`, the next day.. he went to another restaurant and heard a guy say `fork and knife` `fork and knife`, then the next day, when he was about to leave the country, he went to a restaurant to have some lunch, he heard a guy say `whoo hoo!!!` `whoo hoo!!!` he saw a guy dead on the floor, the police came and said `Who did this?` The chinese man didnt know what to say, so he said `Me me me` `Me me me` The Police said `What did you kill him with?` He said `Fork and knife` `Fork and Knife` the police said `Your going to jail` the chinese guy said `Whoo hoo!!!` Whoo hoo!!!` Read more

A Chinese comes with dog to a restaurant.If the waiter says to him. `This bring from food is forbade`. Read more