Computer Jokes Category

How can you tell if you have been spending too much time at home on the Internet?

Your spouse emails you a message saying dinner is ready and she/he uses the address
"Your spouse@home.com." Read more

10) E-Mail flames from some guy named 'Fluffy.'
9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8) You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
7) Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/.
6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it...and a strange aroma of tuna.
5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of 'CyberDog.'
4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2) On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

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The Yankees have a monopoly game.
The Mets have a monopoly game.
Microsoft has a monopoly, no game but a lesson for us all. Read more

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

Buff your mouse pad
Make a list of things to download
Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem
Count to 500 in "click" language
Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!)
Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter Read more

"My computer isn`t that nervous...it`s just a bit ANSI.
Terminal glare: A look that kills...
Life would be much easier if I had the source code
Computers are only human.
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine. " Read more

If Restaurants Functioned Like ...
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Ha Read more

How many IBM PC owners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra. Read more

You know it`s time to re-evaluate your relationship with your computer when¦.

You wake up at 3 o`clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and you stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape.

Your family always knows where you are.


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Did you hear that Netscape is moving to Tel-Aviv, Israel?
They're going to rename themself "Netan-Yahoo"

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The businessperson told a nervous client to think of the computer match up service simply as "dater-processing Read more