Cop Jokes Category

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver`s license?Driver: I don`t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner`s card for this vehicle?Driver: It`s not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?Driver: That`s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner`s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There`s a gun in the glove box?Driver: Yes sir. That`s where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.Officer: There`s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?Driver: Yes, sir.Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle ... Read more

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn`t told him about, he finally got enough energy to p... Read more

A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn`t told him about, he finally got enough energy ... Read more

The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window."I`ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said.... Read more

One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are you that she is gonna kill you? Did she threaten to kill you?""No," replied the nervous immigrant."Did you hear her tell someone else that she`s gonna kill you?""No.""Did someone tell you that your wife is gonna... Read more

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He`s lying" was pla... Read more

After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn`t know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that`s what they are. I`ve never heard of circle flies."The farmer was please... Read more

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped bya policeman who said, ?What do you think you are doing? What if you have an accident??... Read more

Policeman: When I saw you coming around the corner, I said to myself,"Fifty-five at leas... Read more

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver`s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over."No," the man replied."You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained."But I did slow down!" the guy argued.The cop shook his head. "You are requi... Read more