Divorce Jokes Category

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all o... Read more

Morris calls his son in NY and says," Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don`t want to discuss it. I`m merely telling you because you`re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I`ve made up my mind, I`m divorcing Mama."The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don`t want to get into it. My mind is made up.""But Dad, you just can`t decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?""It`s too painful to talk about it. I only called because you`re my son, and I thought you should know. I really don`t want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tellher. It will spare me the pain.""But where`s Mama? Can I talk to her?""No I don`t want you to say anything to her about it. I haven`t told her yet. Believe me it hasn`t been easy. I`ve agonized over it for several days, and I`ve finally come to a decision. I have an appointme... Read more

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property.""I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?""I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband`s parents."He said, "Do you have a real grudge?""No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.""Please," he tried again, "is t... Read more

A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. "Do... Read more

A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie but doesn`t know what`s available or price.The clerk replies "we have Tennis Barbie and she`s $28" Lady asks "well, anything else?" "We have an equestrian Barbie, and she`s $28".Lady asks "any... Read more

After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported tohis client.?Mrs. LaMay, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your hus... Read more

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver`s lice... Read more

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her... Read more

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $... Read more

Mrs. O`Connor Wants a Divorce"Well, Mrs. O`Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?""Oh, no," replied Mrs. O`Connor. Sure now, we only have a carport.The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?""No, no," said Mrs. O`Connor, looking puzzled. "I`m always first out of bed."Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?""Sure now, he plays the flute, bu... Read more