Dog Jokes Category

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance."Th... Read more

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog`s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws... Read more

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor`s office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can`t get a wink of sleep.""I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.""Great," the blond answered, "I`ll try any... Read more

Following a woman with a dog out of the movie theater, a man stopped her and said, "I`m sorry to bother you, but I was amazed that your dog seemed to get into the movie so much. He cried at the right spot... Read more

My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got ... Read more

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."So the Doberman says... Read more

10 Dog Peeves About Humans1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny ... not very funny at all!2. Yelling at me for barking... I`M A FRIGGIN` DOG YOU IDIOT!3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you`re not home.6. The sleight of hand, fa... Read more

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there."You talk?" he asks."Yep," the mutt replies."So, what`s your story?"The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had mejetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running."The jettin... Read more

On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line."Oh, aren`t you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegr... Read more

My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her."Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.Not even turning around, my mother qui... Read more