Educational Jokes Category

DOES THIS HOMEWORK LOOK FAMILIAR?

We professors have a memory for names that is best served in one of the following ways:

Your name is an eponym (you`re named after a famous person or place),
An epiphenomenon process occurred (you told me your name and I remembered it), or
An epistolary action occurred (you wrote your name down on the homework).
Of the three choices, the last is the best because not everyone can be named Abe Lincoln and we have trouble remembering where we put our wallets.

Professor Johnson, 4/19/00, written comments posted on his office door with the suspect homework
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When a warming trend hit the Artic, scientists were assigned to watch glaciers in danger of splitting. Naturally, all of the researchers had to have good ice sight. Read more

Dad: Hey son what is 2 x 2?
Son: A tie
Dad: Ok, what is 2 x 1?
Son: An offer
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Did you know that "verb" is a noun?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?
Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese?
There were three tomatoes: a mum, a dad and a son. The son lagged behind and
fell splat on the floor. His dad yelled to him, "Ketchup, son." Read more

Why did the nerd eat the fifth grader's math test??
Because it was a peace of cake!!
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Today, of course, being college-bred means being a loaf for four years Read more

It was the first day of school after summer vacation.
The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends.
THEN¦In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats.

The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.
After about a minute or so, he spoke...
"From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom.
You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework.
Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.

The first one is "gross"
And the other one is "cool"
Are there any questions?"

After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the Read more